Saturday, 18 September 2010

• How often does my inner self freaking change?

   

  It's two years. The internal self is much more flexible than the external body.  Two years is a lifetime, especially to someone who undergoes a great deal of change in friends, environment, and lifestyle.  

  I was born to two different people.  Two totally different people.  They have both influenced me, and I relate to both of them.  I am the fun-loving, easy-going, procrastinating, stop-and-smell-the flowers type, but I also have an intense desire to be organized, and just DO everything.  I want money, I want a plan, I want to follow through with it.  I want to be spontaneous, I want to find myself in unexpected situations, I want to live out a good story.  Sometimes I am stuck.  My mind can't come to a consensus and I remain still, one foot trying to leap one way, and the other needs to run in the opposite direction. Sometimes, my left foot wins out for a little, sometimes my right foot has control.  Often my feet pick up totally new dance moves, and I'm doing the samba one second and ballroom dancing the next. 

  I'm constantly thinking, re-evaluating, and trying to define everything.  I end up drastically changing. 

  I've also realized some things over the past two years, that will and have changed me. 

  1. Don't say anything about anyone. Ever.  Unless it's good.  But not too good, or else they may think you're desperate and crazy.  <<<I learned the last part when I was 13.

  2.  Never say I hate you to anyone, even if you do. 

  3.  It is not fun to hear someone cry, and it's not fun to make someone cry.  Or sad.  Do everything to avoid it. 

  4.  People often vocally draw attention to the bad qualities in their aquaintances, but you will find these qualities are usually more apparent in the personality of the complainer.  We may not realize it, but we dislike in others what is bad about ourselves.  For example, stupid people will insult others' intelligence levels, quiet people will complain about another's silence, sensitive people will complain about others' sensitivity.  One way to judge someone is by listening to what they say about other people. 

  5.  Never be on the outside looking in.  If the door wasn't opened for you to begin with, or if you were pushed out, just walk away.  Screw fighting for things, if that's what you're fighting for.  Closed doors are never worth trying to get back in.  You'd lose your pride and your power.  You'd look like a beggar.  Build a condo next door, and invite everyone who's actually worth it inside.  And don't let the assholes get a foot inside your condo, because they didn't give a crap about you before, right? 

  6.  Because it feels powerful to be on the inside looking out. 

  7.  A smile does wonders.

  8.  Compliments are better than smiles.

  9.  A well-placed joke works.

  10. It is better to be working towards the good of the whole world than just the good of the country.  Yet change starts with every individual.

  11.  Don't write or type anything, ever, that you don't or wouldn't want anyone to read.  Don't say anything that you don't want someone to hear.

  12.  Reading is great.  But living a life that makes a good story is even better.  That has become one of my life goals.  I want to live a story.  I want to have adventures.

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